Almost all of us have had to deal with a boss whose own management style and set of management skills left something to be desired. Managing up — as it is called — is relatively easy when one’s boss has a skill set, style, and personality similar to our own. But how to manage up when our boss has a style, set of habits, or chronic lack of sound judgment that inhibits and complicates our ability to do our jobs?

In this series of articles under the category “MANAGING POOR MANAGERS”, I will share what hard-won experience has taught me about coping with the less than ideal boss. Begin by asking “does it really matter”? Does this act of bad management seriously affect my ability to do my job, or hinder the performance of my organization as a whole? If it does, then you should act to confront the issue as best you can. If it does not really matter in any significant way, then save your powder for the engagements that really do.

THE “OPPRESSIVE” BOSS

The manager I have in mind is defined by a range of behaviors that can make a subordinate’s work life a living hell.   Label these managers what you will but many of my readers will have real names to attach to the behavior I describe.

These managers appear totally consumed with themselves and demonstrate little empathy for the feelings, views, or concerns of others.  They are often cruel, mean and ruthless when crossed.  They are frequently charismatic and crave and cultivate absolute loyalty and constant signs of approval. They can also be devilishly manipulative, pitting their loyalists against others .

The “oppressive” manager displays an inflated sense of their own ability and accomplishments, often takes credit for the achievements of others and will prevaricate and embellish to impress.  To challenge and oppose them — especially in public — risks almost certain retribution.  They are suspicious and can adopt a take no prisoners approach to their perceived enemies.  These managers generally RULE BY FEAR.

While the above is a stereotype and hopefully one never encounters the entire package in one boss, I have counseled my share of victims of such management to know these folks exist. Here are a few suggestions for coping with them.

First, and I’m not kidding, if you can get another job.  These managers rarely change, seem oblivious to the destructive aspects of their personality, and will make you pay if you try to reform them. They can make you sick both physically and emotionally if you let them, so moving on as soon as possible is a good choice.  It is safe to consider these managers beyond your best corrective efforts.

Second, when another job is not an option protect yourself.  Keep your head down, do not seek to argue with or challenge the oppressive boss unless you must and limit your interactions to those necessary to do your job.  Trying to befriend or curry favor can easily backfire.  Remember, the oppressive manager is suspicious and will often read devious intent when there is none.

Third, do not play games or sell out in order to convince them of your loyalty and support.  Quietly doing your job to the best of your ability — being productive — is the better way to remain under the radar.  Remember, your high quality output makes them look good as well.

Finally, whatever you personally may think, try to avoid taking sides.  Some subordinates assigned to these managers will spend considerable time complaining about and discussing the boss in harsh and derogatory terms.  Try to remain neutral in what you say and stay focused on your work.  The oppressive manager is keen to discover their opposition and generally has ways — via selected loyalists — to learn what others are saying.  Try to avoid being part of that discovery.

With luck, you will eventually escape to another job and boss.  Or higher-ups will conclude they have had enough and remove the problem manager for you.  The common thread in all my suggestions regarding the oppressive boss is your SURVIVAL.

UPDATED April 2026

Categories: Managing & Leading, Self-Management

Tags: advice for managers, advice for managers from managers, best managers, effective management and leadership, effective managers and leaders, line management, management advice, Managing & Leading, Self-Management