During a cross-country flight, I once struck up a conversation with a fellow frequent flier about our professions and the various challenges we faced.  An architect who appreciates stability, he told me that mid-stream regime changes were among his biggest headaches.  What is the best way to survive these experiences he asked?

As he spoke, my mind wandered back to several personal experiences where the upper management or client rug was suddenly pulled from beneath my feet.  None of these experiences were pleasant and his choice of the verb “survive” certainly seemed appropriate.

Throughout a professional career, we can generally count on having our best laid plans and aspirations frustrated from time to time. The departure of people we are counting upon or unwelcome organizational changes. While I have never discovered a magic formula for surviving these moments, my experiences have taught me that the following  suggestions certainly can help.

First, anticipate the possibility this can happen to you, because it probably will.  Nasty surprises that come as a shock are always harder to cope with than events you knew most likely would happen sooner or later. I call these “it’s your turn” events. Having anticipated the possibility, you are likely to be more emotionally ready to move on to the important recovery steps you need to take.

Second, if you can anticipate the possibility of having the rug pulled from beneath you,  you can also contemplate in advance a PLAN B.  Having at least considered some alternative plan of action and additional options, amounts to having more than one iron in the fire. It also mitigates the emotional trauma of having wagered everything on one roll of the dice and lost.

Third, limit the time you are willing to spend “feeling sorry for yourself”. A little self-pity is a natural reaction to serious disappointment and does little harm.  But the key word is “little”.  Wallowing in an extended period of wondering why in the world this had to happen to you misdirects your emotional and intellectual energy away from the important task of deciding “well, now what”?

Assuming you have considered a Plan B, the faster you begin its implementation the better. You might consider asking a loved one, friend or colleague to let you know when they believe your period of “a little self-pity” has moved beyond the little phase.

Fourth, do not automatically assume that the new regime can not be won over to your objective or goal. This is an empirical matter and can only be established by trying. Test all your negative assumptions. Plan B can wait until you are certain the regime change you have experienced actually requires a change of directions.

Finally, at times of professional, business, or career disappointment, it is important to remember — and remind yourself often — of the skills and talents you have drawn upon to achieve your past successes. They are now the best resources you have for putting your disappointment behind you and implementing your next plan of action.

UPDATED May 2026

Categories: Managing & Leading, Self-Management

Tags: advice for managers, best managers, change leadership, line management, management advice, Managing & Leading, managing frustration